Posts Tagged ‘haiku’

The 6 Best Movies I Saw This Year

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

Here are haiku reviews of the 6 best movies I saw in 2008. This list is comprehensive in that it considers everything I saw. It is not comprehensive in that I did not come close to seeing all the movies released in 2008. (I did see The House Bunny.)

Encounters at the End of the World
Iridescent fish
meet Burning Man meets Herzog
in Antarctica.

Happy Go Lucky
Poppy is happy.
This makes some people angry.
Happy is Poppy.

Wall-E
Chaplin-bot in a
G-rated apocalypse -
Pixar gets darker.

The Wrestler
O, Randy the Ram
O, tragically flawed grappler
O, hidden razor

Momma’s Man
When life is too much,
Delay your flight forever…
return to the womb.

Man on Wire
Way way way up there:
A smiling man, 2 buildings.
What perfect balance.

Jeff Stern is a Boston-based filmmaker, screenwriter and actor whose work has screened at the Woods Hole, Olympia, New Hampshire and Boston Underground Film Festivals, among others. He is the co-producer and host of Open Screen, a monthly forum for independent, underground films held at the Somerville Theatre in Somerville, MA. In January 2009, he finished production on the independent feature film "Good Work," in which Jeff stars as Jason. In summer 2009, Jeff co-produced and starred in the independent feature film "Party Like It’s a Verb." Both films are currently in post-production. Jeff currently plays in the band The Avon Barksdale. He is also a lifetime member of the musical baseball ensemble, The Farmhands. Jeff works at Bentley University, where he teaches Media Production. He lives in Cambridge near a bunch of baseball diamonds with his wife, Anna Goldsmith, and son, Leo Coolidge.

Bourne Ultimatum, and Delirious: Haiku Movie Reviews

Friday, September 14th, 2007

The Bourne Ultimatum
——————————

Snapped bones make music.
A fight scene in a bathtub
kicks all our asses.

Morocco, Moscow,
New York, Spain. All share one trait:
People die when killed.

Faces are to hide.
A door is for kicking in.
A fist is to break.

Damon and Affleck:
they started in the same place.
That place is gone now.

Delirious
————-
Really great Prince song.
Really terrible movie.
Twenty years later.

In 34 years,
I’ve walked out of 6 movies.
This was one of them.

Buscemi can act.
I’m not saying otherwise.
But, he can’t save this.

Jeff Stern is a Boston-based filmmaker, screenwriter and actor whose work has screened at the Woods Hole, Olympia, New Hampshire and Boston Underground Film Festivals, among others. He is the co-producer and host of Open Screen, a monthly forum for independent, underground films held at the Somerville Theatre in Somerville, MA. In January 2009, he finished production on the independent feature film "Good Work," in which Jeff stars as Jason. In summer 2009, Jeff co-produced and starred in the independent feature film "Party Like It’s a Verb." Both films are currently in post-production. Jeff currently plays in the band The Avon Barksdale. He is also a lifetime member of the musical baseball ensemble, The Farmhands. Jeff works at Bentley University, where he teaches Media Production. He lives in Cambridge near a bunch of baseball diamonds with his wife, Anna Goldsmith, and son, Leo Coolidge.

Ocean’s 13, A Haiku Movie Review

Friday, June 15th, 2007

George loves Brad loves Matt.
And Soderbergh loves them all.
Hey. What’s not to love?

In with the In-crowd.
A-listers on a joy ride.
Fellas! Wait for me!

Split screens and jazz-funk!
Silk shirts! Slick banter! Gadgets!
I feel kind of used.

Reflected starlight.
Nothing under the surface.
A shallow ocean.

Jeff Stern is a Boston-based filmmaker, screenwriter and actor whose work has screened at the Woods Hole, Olympia, New Hampshire and Boston Underground Film Festivals, among others. He is the co-producer and host of Open Screen, a monthly forum for independent, underground films held at the Somerville Theatre in Somerville, MA. In January 2009, he finished production on the independent feature film "Good Work," in which Jeff stars as Jason. In summer 2009, Jeff co-produced and starred in the independent feature film "Party Like It’s a Verb." Both films are currently in post-production. Jeff currently plays in the band The Avon Barksdale. He is also a lifetime member of the musical baseball ensemble, The Farmhands. Jeff works at Bentley University, where he teaches Media Production. He lives in Cambridge near a bunch of baseball diamonds with his wife, Anna Goldsmith, and son, Leo Coolidge.

Hot Fuzz, A Haiku Movie Review

Friday, June 1st, 2007

Ironic homage
to buddy action thrillers:
British meta-cops.

A tough London cop.
A towne with a dark secret.
Somethin’s gotta give.

A village shootout:
bullet-shattered plant pot shards
float in a beer pool.

Miniature towne:
a former James Bond impaled
by a church steeple.

Aware of itself.
A movie about movies.
A film about films.

Jeff Stern is a Boston-based filmmaker, screenwriter and actor whose work has screened at the Woods Hole, Olympia, New Hampshire and Boston Underground Film Festivals, among others. He is the co-producer and host of Open Screen, a monthly forum for independent, underground films held at the Somerville Theatre in Somerville, MA. In January 2009, he finished production on the independent feature film "Good Work," in which Jeff stars as Jason. In summer 2009, Jeff co-produced and starred in the independent feature film "Party Like It’s a Verb." Both films are currently in post-production. Jeff currently plays in the band The Avon Barksdale. He is also a lifetime member of the musical baseball ensemble, The Farmhands. Jeff works at Bentley University, where he teaches Media Production. He lives in Cambridge near a bunch of baseball diamonds with his wife, Anna Goldsmith, and son, Leo Coolidge.