Recipe: Bad-Day-Better Tomato-Fried-Rice Feast
By Adam Gnade
Friday, May 29th, 2009

Last week I had a ridiculously bad day. Not much worth mentioning; just one of those stupid days when everything that can go wrong does and your head gets crazy with doubt and ill-temper and fatalism.

I get back to the house a few minutes before midnight after a full day of bloodthirsty mean bastards and surreal misadventures and I want nothing more than a decent meal to calm down with.

Of course there’s nothing in the icebox besides a dozen half-full condiment tubes (why is it always mustard?), half an onion, some leftover rice, and half a package of silken tofu. (The Great Depression #II rolls onward like Sherman to the sea.)

So, after a minute of bumming myself out, I dig around the cupboards and somehow come up with this great-tasting feast which fed me and my friends and kept us alive one more day while the bombs dropped outside.

As we say around these parts, “Gold has been achieved.”

Ingredients:
Safflower oil
Half a purple onion, chopped
Half a can of stewed tomatoes
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1/2 package silken tofu, firm
Salt and pepper
Soy sauce
Two cups cooked white rice

from Cafe Lynnylu online

from Cafe Lynnylu online

Directions:
Prepare rice according to directions on bag. Start frying pan with quarter inch oil. Toss in onion and garlic. When onion begins to soften, add tomatoes and rice. Stir while they fry together. Add tofu and stir at high heat for three minutes until tofu is blended. Serve immediately with salt, pepper, and soy sauce to taste.

Drink recommendation: a 40.

BIO: Adam Gnade's (guh nah dee) work is released as a series of books and records that share characters and themes; the fiction writing continuing plot-lines left open by the self-described "talking songs" in an attempt to compile a vast, detailed, interconnected, personal history of contemporary American life. Check out recent writing here and songs here. Contact: adam@asthmatickitty.com

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