DIY Guide to Giving Yourself a Zen Haircut
By Adam Gnade
Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

I’m not sure who clued me in on the “Zen haircut” but I’ve been practicing it for years. Basic idea is finding inner calm by savagely cutting your own hair and doing so without regard to any traditional conceptualization of beauty or style. Grab the scissors, grab a handful of hair, hack it off, and keep hacking until you feel right with yourself.  (Use this mantra: “Arbitrary and Harmless Self-Violence Leads to Experiential Wisdom.” Seriously though, it doesn’t matter if you can read Sanskrit or recite the Lotus Sutra, the whole thing is more intuitive than spiritual.)

photo from inspectorcollectors.com

photo from inspectorcollectors.com

I guess it’s the counterintuitive recklessness that shocks you into a calm. Whatever it is, it’s a nice, zoned-out/zoned-in, cleansing sensation somewhere between shotgunning a beer and a long session of meditation. Post-Zen haircut I feel strong, focused, and clear-eyed. This is when I work (write) best and to me that’s a very important thing. (Also, I hate going to the barber. Hate it with a murderousness unequaled.)

Couple days ago I was in a recording session and everything felt wrong (sort of sedentary and unsettled at the same time if that makes any sense.) So I set down my guitar, went into a back room, turned up the Wavves record, and gave myself a vicious two-minute Zen haircut.

That was Monday. Today’s Wednesday and I still feel like like I just got back from a year sailing around the world on a yacht as a missionary for Dr. Bronner.

Join the cult.

BEFORE: MONDAY, BUMMED OUT AND HAVING TROUBLE RECORDING

haircut

AFTER: WEDNESDAY, NO TROUBLE! NO PROBLEMS!

BIO: Adam Gnade's (guh nah dee) work is released as a series of books and records that share characters and themes; the fiction writing continuing plot-lines left open by the self-described "talking songs" in an attempt to compile a vast, detailed, interconnected, personal history of contemporary American life. Check out recent writing here and songs here. Contact: adam@asthmatickitty.com

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